to mary or to half-mary

a few weeks back i tweeted that title to my post. its been five months since my first legit race. kennys urbanit 15k that was. i was terrible in that race. i took almost 2 hours to finish that 15k. but many many races after, i can do 21k with my eyes closed. i even ran philstar with not a minute of sleep. im a little bored with the distance. and it doesn't help that the fort bonifacio/ makati race route has been ran, literally, to the ground. so 42k is the next frontier. the next distance to be conquered. so now im trying to crunch the full marathon distance training in 4 weeks. yesterday my program called for 28k. it WOULD have been cool. BUT, like the philstar run, i wasnt able to get some shuteye the night before. as in.. zero minutes. while i was attempting to sleep i took a quick look at my watch, and i saw, 4:24 am, oh well, might as well start running early. so at 6 am, i was already stretching in up. and with no sleep, i proceeded with my run. by km 10 i was already feeling dizzy. and by km 14, i felt like i wanted to puke. so by km21, i quit. i ended my run. im beginning to wonder if i have the heart for a full forty two kilometers...